THIS WEEK IN LONDON WE ARE MOSTLY WEARING...

Suddenly it is autumn and suddenly everyone is wearing skinny drainpipe jeans, ballet pumps, waistcoats, tweed city shorts and cropped A line jackets. This is the uniform that Kate Moss has been wearing for ages, and thus we must all now wear it because she is the fashion oracle. I don’t think she intended to share the ‘rolled up tenner in the nostril’ look though.

A few weeks ago I looked at my beloved bootcut James jeans that I’ve been wearing almost daily since January, and they just seemed all wrong, hideously outdated in fact. So I dragged my arse and saddlebag thighs (literally) into autumn/winter. And you know what, I look ok. I’ll spare you a photograph.

I am still obsessed with the Vanesa Bruno dress. It apparently does not exist in London (were the buyers blind?) so I will try my luck when I get to Paris. The Vanessa Bruno store does not put things on hold. They do not have time to speak on the phone, they are very busy and can only tell you that they do have the dress you want but you cannot reserve it unless you pay for it over the phone even though you don’t know what size you are. And you cannot put two sizes on hold, oh no no. Non.
I am now also obsessed with finding the perfect knee high flat, round toed riding boot.

I am SO shallow. I like being shallow. I am a mindless consumer robot as the man who preaches with the megaphone at Oxford Circus would say. This is absolutely true as today I was so consumed by window shopping that I forgot to go to my yoga class.

I wonder what people will mostly be wearing in Paris? Small pooches? Facial expressions of disdain when confronted by my scruffy Englishness? Or should that be my English scruffiness? I’ll be sure to let you all know. All three of you.

I used to live in Florence and got used to the looks of pity I received when dashing to my class with non blow dried hair and no make up. I will try to make an effort in Paris. I may even iron a few things and look in the mirror before going out. But I draw the line at matching accessories, bouffant hair or jauntily tied Hermes scarves.