Saturday, February 25, 2006


Lesson one: What not to do

A couple of weeks ago I styled a shoot in a really amazing location. I loved it and wanted to tell you all about it but I didn’t have time to take any photo’s myself.
But, hurrah, I was there again today assisting La Doppelganger so I had the chance.

An old four storey warehouse renovated by the owners of furniture store Castle Gibson which specialises in distinctive 20th century furniture, the best thing about it is that all the furniture is for sale. What a nifty idea, eh? Instead of having a dusty old warehouse in which to store your shop stock, you have this amazing space to rent out, conveniently filled with furniture to be used in the shoots, thus you benefit from the location fee and the free promotion of your goods. The place must more than pay for itself. Kerrching!

So in between gorging oneself on the enormous breakfast, lunch and afternoon tea provided; in idle moments between digesting and the occasional flurry of activity (pinning, ironing, hanging up, helping a fully grown adult dress himself, tweaking a collar) you can dream about which pieces you are going to buy. A Victorian plan chest? A wall of 1920’s ex safety deposit boxes from the Ritz? A vintage filing cabinet stripped to the metal and polished? School chairs? An old library bookcase eight feet high with the word ‘silence’ painted on the top shelf? A zinc topped oak dining table? Yes, there are many hours to while away on a shoot especially when the A list photographer seems distinctly under whelmed by your presence from the start.

It’s safer to keep a low profile grazing at the catering table and taking a few snaps of the location to show your readers. Or just text your friends, read e mails on your blackberry, read the paper. Like a NORMAL person.

How not to keep a low profile:

Aim your camera at the same point as the photographer and click at the same time, having somehow overridden the setting that switches the flash OFF.

Let out a gasp and freeze, mortified as the entire room turns towards you as if to say ‘what the fuck?’ Then why not lower your head and wring your hands whilst whispering ‘sorry, sorry I thought the flash was off,’ which no one can hear as you are WHISPERING in a high ceilinged warehouse, making it look like you are simply muttering to yourself whilst rocking back and forth on the walnut and leather art deco daybed.


Bombay Beauty said...

This warehouse sounds like a great idea. Indeed, so great that I think it needs to be generalized. Tired of the posters on your walls? Why put them under your bed when you can put them into storage and buy something new instead? Indeed, why not upgrade to some real ahhrt? Too timid or sentimental to throw away the 90 year old Persian you inherited from your (90 year old) aunt? Store and get a new one.

Once you get into the spirit of it, the possibilities are endless. Getting a bit tired of your current social set? Discretely suggest a coffee at your local friend warehouse. Park them there with a cappuccino while you shop around.

* * *

I've just realized that this is perhaps why my friends keep on inviting me to meet at coffee houses (indeed, even Starbucks). They are hoping that someone, anyone, preferably a couple visiting from Topeka, might just adopt me.

* * *

Public notice (appears for reasons of legal notification):
From now on BB is no longer available for coffee.

Coquette said...

This has happened to me! It's hard to get the good pictures for the blog world at large!