HAIR RAISING...

I may not have the answer to everything, but I do know this:

*If you buy L'Oreal Casting Creme Gloss semi permanent hair dye in light brown, your hair will be light brown, then over the course of four or five months it will lighten alarmingly until it is gingery blonde. You will have root re-growth and will wonder how this can possibly happen since the dye is supposed to last *up to* 28 washes.

You have clearly not understood the situation as you then purchase L'Oreal Casting Creme Gloss in medium brown to try and get your hair back to its (lovely in hindsight) natural shade. Your hair goes black. With dark brown/grey patches. You phone the L'Oreal helpline and they tell you that the dye is *tone on tone* so even though it says on the pack it lasts *up to* 28 washes it does not actually wash out. As if the words tone on tone explain this.

They advise putting Head & Shoulders (actually they're only allowed to say "a strong shampoo" and you say, "like what, Head & Shoulders?" and they keep saying, yes that one, the one you said, but they will not say Head & Shoulders) on your dry hair for 15 minutes, rinse it out and keep repeating and the colour will start to lift. After an entire bottle of Head & Shoulders you definitely do not have dandruff, but you still have extremely dark brown fried/destroyed hair.

When you go on the internet you discover countless horror stories about L'Oreal Casting Creme Gloss, including those of people whose heads and eyes swelled up like balloons after using it. You are glad you only suffered a headache from the chemicals and hair that looks like a cheap black wig.

You go to a hair colour specialist who advises you not to strip the colour out and ruin your hair even more, then sells you another semi permanent colour which you do not use. You get used to it, only gasping when passing mirrors. You realise you have the same hair as your teenage stoner self.


At least now I can impersonate Rick Owens...

{photo credit unknown}