BOB BOB RICARD...

Curious name, curious place. Someone said that new-ish restaurant/bar in Soho, Bob Bob Ricard is like the waiting room of the Orient Express. (I would add, on acid.)

Taking over the previous site of ad agency honcho hang out Circus, the re-design of the place is instantly recognisable as the work of David Collins who designed The Wolseley, The Connaught Bar, Claridge's Bar, The Berkeley Blue Bar, Nobu Berkeley etc etc - to name just a few in London.

BBR looks bizarrely retro, but it's custom made and brand spanking new - a Collins speciality. Red wallpaper with a veiny white print, juxtaposed with sapphire blue wallpaper with a sort of agate circle print, antique looking mirror squares, turquoise leather booths, a lot of cubist brass fittings everywhere - and a "champagne button" at every booth. So much going on it's hard to describe or remember it all. Oh yes, marble too.

We sat at the bar where the poor barman had been made to wear a pastel pink tuxedo jacket, as had all the other male staff (females wore turquoise). He actually looked embarrassed. Everything was so opulent that it felt quite eerie to sit at the bar and drink ten quid cocktails while discussing the recession.

Needless to say we were almost the only people in there so I felt a little conspicuous taking photos. I managed to snap one of my drink - can't remember what it was but the glass was tiny and they seemed to be strictly rationing the amount of nuts given out. I don't think it'll be enough to recoup all the money they spent on the fixtures and fittings somehow. Maybe they could try to get a refund on those pink tuxedos. It's not their fault, it's really a lovely place that was very obviously planned in detail before boom turned to bust.

EDIT: [ A button that called a waiter would have been useful; a button that called the waiter a t*** would have been better; a button that severely electrocuted the chef would have been amusing. But perhaps the most sensible and useful would have been a button that called Domino’s Pizza. This restaurant is the last turkey standing. ] - A.A. Gill and I are so in sync.