SEE THE STARS, THEY'RE SHINING BRIGHT, EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT TONIGHT...

You'll have to forgive me, my heart has been performing a number of strange acrobatics this week - breaking open, swelling, exploding - that kind of thing. It's all most unusual. So this year has been crap in countless ways, but hello December. First there was Sweden, and Sweden would have been enough wonderment for a month. But then I had bought tickets to see Depeche Mode here in London and last night I was in the second row. Closer to the stage than people standing.

I could bore you for hours about how I geeked out when both Jonathan Kessler and Anton Corbijn stood a metre away from me, but I know 99.8% of you couldn't care less. I took along my new camera to be told as soon as I took it out of my bag that the lens was too big so I couldn't use it and they should confiscate it. (Having been told at the door it was ok as long as I didn't shoot video.) I was so gutted as I had such a great close up view of the stage and one seat in the first row in front of me was empty.

The support act, Soulsavers, was so boring everyone fell asleep. Then right before the real show started...you know when you can sense very bad energy? Two girls: one looked like a budget porn actress, the other I really can't explain, but they stumbled from some gutter into the seats right in front of me reeking of alcohol and god knows what. The one immediately in front of me was completely off her face, her head lolling around, then she tried to climb over the barrier to fight with this guy who looked at her girlfriend. Throughout the whole gig it went: fight, shout, cry, make up, spill beer on everyone, security intervention, calm down for 3 minutes then it all starts again. Oh, she was vicious that one.

I think security took pity on me because I always had to have one eye on this Exorcist like creature in front of me and at some point in the night they told me it was ok to get my camera out. I actually have a few pictures where Dave is looking right into my camera, probably thinking, "Hello darling, that lens is clearly unauthorised." To be honest, what with the bitchfight being played out inches away, Dave taking his waistcoat off and the combination of World in My Eyes, Stripped, Never Let Me Down Again and Behind the Wheel, my hands were shaking so much I'm surprised I got any decent photos at all. I was still paranoid my camera might get confiscated by someone who didn't know I'd been given permission - even Anton Corbijn gave it a few funny looks. And the possessed one was swaying alarmingly in my direction, so during Personal Jesus I started to put my camera away. At that moment something made me look up and Dave was right in front of me, singing away. I very nearly had a heart attack - I like to think he enjoyed the look of shock/joy/awe on my face.

So that was that, me and my Nikon went home to prepare for our trip to Paris this weekend. Because yes, I only went and WON the bloody competition.

So you see, pieces of my heart all over the place...

{photo by me}