It's now been eight months since I cut all my hair off and I know you've probably been frantically beside yourselves waiting for an update on how that's going; despite my almost refusal to post photos of myself here so you can't even see what it looks like or how it looked before.
I had it cut in the spring - my long hair felt like it was literally weighing me down: it would snake round my neck at night and strangle me and get caught under my bag strap on my shoulder. I was on constant guard against split ends, probably missing many wonderful sights as I investigated my ends on trains, planes and anywhere there was good light.
When I had it cut, first into a shoulder length bob and then shorter, shorter to chin length where it now rests, it gave me a jolt of new energy. I had to keep getting it cut - I couldn't bear it getting long again. Split ends are not an issue - I don't even have to use conditioner. I kiiiiind of felt like a new person and spent the whole spring and summer happily rocking the short hair - in fact I think many positive things happened because of it. When you have long hair you can hide behind it - go short and your attitude changes to 'here I am'. Light, unfussy, modern. I really feel better with short hair. Usually.
Because oh. I have discovered an incontrovertible truth. Last night I opened Photobooth - something I hardly ever use - and stumbled on a series pictures of me taken on it over the past five or so years. I didn't even know they were there. Me and my long hair: glossy, thick, sometimes with a Jane Birkin-y fringe, sometimes not. It was plain to see: I look WAAAYYY prettier with long hair. And younger. Shit. Long hair - which is pretty much six years of growing and trimming out of my reach.
I expect this happens to everyone. You cut it, you love it, then you're over it and realise there's no quick route back to er, pretty? In the summer it was fine, but now the dark and damp has set in I realise I need something extra to look ok. And I prefer being natural. I don't want to have to wear make up to look ok. Short hair demands lipstick, or eyeliner, or something so you don't look like a bore.
I completely hate myself for writing this post and feel like a 'Shit Girls Say' cliche. There's no easy answer. I will have to get used to just looking professional, or modern, or peppy or some such.