Monday, April 02, 2007

LET'S TALK ABOUT TALKTALK...


Oh joy. I've had no internet access for over a week now and let's just say I am climbing the walls.
I am now in a charming little internet cafe where they charge you a pound to use their crappy computers with keyboards that have no letters printed on the keys - who knew I could touch type?

I was lured by a great package internet/phone deal and stupid, stupid girl that I am I believed their lies. It was no problem at all, it would all be a smoooth transition madam (they talk like that), don't worry about a thing.

Banging.head.against.wall.repeatedly.

I really wish I'd upgraded to the package that includes a week at a Swiss sanitorium (sanitarium?) by a lake where I could lie looking at the view wrapped in a blanket. Only then might I recover from spending three or so hours a day, every day speaking to to various technical people at a call centre in India who sound like they're speaking from the bottom of a well. And who start to panic if you ask them anything that's not in their pre-prepared script. I just love the way each person I speak to contradicts exactly what the previous person told me.

Breathe.

Also fabulous is that my call display no longer works, my phone line is fuzzy and when I'm on it my voice apparently cuts out every few seconds.

*Weeping*

I want my innernets back.
I miss you all...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

don't worry...soon the internet gods will smile on you again...
delphine

Annie said...

Isn't it amazing how these noxious little inventions that are really quite odd and inhuman become things we depend upon the most? computer troubles seem to stab right at the heart of one's sanity...

So yes, let's all just go to Switzerland and have a lovely little meltdown. I've always had that same fantasy of the sanitarium - an oversized deck chair, wrapped up in cashmere, snow-capped peaks, and a kind orderly bringing my daily dose. Ooooh - delicious!

Bombay Beauty said...

I was just thinking of switching providers. Now I'm having second thoughts. I would rather loose my toilet than my internet connection. Speaking of which you might want to try this, if you haven't already:

http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html

Cheers,

BB

Mrs Fashion said...

Argh, nightmare!
We miss you too...
Mrs F x

Anonymous said...

*waving hello from the sanitorium*

I'm third turban on the left-- come sit by me-- we'll check out the cute young orderlies together.

~bluepoppy

eurobrat said...

Oh no! There is nothing I dread more than being stranded without internet. Why is it that cyber cafes are always so scuzzy?

We miss you too!

xx

fanja said...

I do sympathize, really.. I have had the same problem with bulldog broadband, they drive me nuts whenever my internet is down and one of their advisers tells me to check their website for more info.. I am a very quiet person who never shouts at anybody but I do make an exception with them x

Julia said...

We are here - waiting for you!

-e said...

many libraries have free wi-fi too you know.

Lola is Beauty said...

Thank you all! I write this from a broken chair in the corner of my friend's living room on a keyboard often used by his teenage brother. Ew. My internet should be all sorted in FIFTEEN DAYS - apparently high speed internet is not exactly that.

Still, any excuse for the Swiss lakeside turban wearing expedition...x

Kate said...

I don't know if it helps at all but this website offers some advice http://talktalkhell.wordpress.com
A relative was having the same problems at it drove her mad too!

Anonymous said...

I'm with BB, any temptation I might have had of changing provider is officially dead.
My deepest sympathy...
xxx
Mia