LET'S TALK ABOUT TALKTALK...

Oh joy. I've had no internet access for over a week now and let's just say I am climbing the walls.
I am now in a charming little internet cafe where they charge you a pound to use their crappy computers with keyboards that have no letters printed on the keys - who knew I could touch type?

I was lured by a great package internet/phone deal and stupid, stupid girl that I am I believed their lies. It was no problem at all, it would all be a smoooth transition madam (they talk like that), don't worry about a thing.

Banging.head.against.wall.repeatedly.

I really wish I'd upgraded to the package that includes a week at a Swiss sanitorium (sanitarium?) by a lake where I could lie looking at the view wrapped in a blanket. Only then might I recover from spending three or so hours a day, every day speaking to to various technical people at a call centre in India who sound like they're speaking from the bottom of a well. And who start to panic if you ask them anything that's not in their pre-prepared script. I just love the way each person I speak to contradicts exactly what the previous person told me.

Breathe.

Also fabulous is that my call display no longer works, my phone line is fuzzy and when I'm on it my voice apparently cuts out every few seconds.

*Weeping*

I want my innernets back.
I miss you all...